I Have No Catchy Title For This Post

* I might vomit.  I'm watching "The Bachelor" and I do this to myself every single time.  The ladies are so attached and already crying?  They've known him for 2 days!  Oh brother.  Can you imagine being a crew member on this thing?!  These hookers get on my nerves.  

* I went to Whole Foods tonight for toilet paper.  Yes, you can buy toilet paper at a ton of places but 1) I was taking a walk near there and 2) I like buying the kind that's 100% recycled and unbleached.  And I spent $61.  So much for just toilet paper.  I also bought sugar free mini chocolate chip cookies (figure that one out), paraben free hand soap (it's complicated), veggie only sushi rolls (it's not complicated, I don't always like sea meat) and this pricey anti-aging face mask (it burned the hell out of my face).   

* I took a bath tonight and was way too close to knicking a very touchy area while shaving my legs.  My life flashed before my eyes.  I was enjoying the soak when all of a sudden I heard what sounded like a motor and dripping water.  Perhaps the neighbors are running some yard tool?  The tub is leaking?  No.  It was Fatty the Cat scratching my towel with her claws and purring.  Ha, so cute!  

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"The Soup" is on right now.  God I love this show.  It is very, very, very funny.  Joel McHale might be the best host of the Soup shows ever.  Love him.  While the writers strike was on, "The Soup" was about the only show not on hiatus though because it's non-union.    

In an hour and a half I will have more fun with TV while the Kiera Knightly "Pride and Prejudice" movie airs.  I've seen the Colin Firth miniseries version as well but this rendition seems to stick with me. 

Now if there's a new "Rock of Love 2" on later my day will be complete.    

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    

On A Quest Here

I auditioned for a commercial today with a 12 year old girl.  She was playing the part of my daughter.  I could be offended they think I look old enough to be a pre-teen's mama but there's no point in that.  The job would pay well and be tons of fun.  I did my best to look older even.  

I chatted it up with the girl--who was super cute and could pass for my child I thought--before our audition.  Here's a snippet of our conversation...

ME:  So, have you been auditioning a long time?

HER:  Yeah, since I was 2.

ME:  Wow, 10 years.  That's a long time, you must be a pro!  (The voice in my head decides not to tell her I've been at this for 2 months after a 3 year hiatus.)  

HER:  Oh, there's me on a commercial right now!  Look, Mom, one of my commercials is airing! (Girl points to flat screen above the reception that has commercials the agency has casted for on a loop.)

ME:  Just one of your bookings, huh?!  Impressive!  Well I guess I'll be riding your coattails with this audition, okay? (The voice in my head decides not to tell her I have yet to book a commercial.)

HER:  Yeah, okay.  (Girl takes me literally, ignoring my chuckle.  She's a smart one, this girl.)

ME:  Okay!  Well, we'll have fun in there.  (The voice in my head says it is NOT appropriate to ask the child for career advice.)

Oy.  

Cry Baby

These days I am a tetris fiend.  A FIEND!  Mr. Jarcy is starting to worry about this new found addiction.  I bought a $19 tetris gameboy from Target and have been playing til my arms hurt, no joke.  I now regularly dream about tetris at night.  This shape goes with this box and then this long rectangle will fit nicely right into...  It's pretty intense.  After last night's intervention of sorts by Mr. Jarcy, I was starting to think he had a point.

Today something happened that was most unpleasant and I cried--well, continue to cry--over it.  I couldn't wait to get home and soothe myself with Tetris.  Sure enough, I came home, played a game and made it to level 10...further than I've ever gotten.  

There's no way in hell I'm giving up my cheapy gameboy now.  Tetris is my savior.   

******

If you are a Pisces, here is your horoscope for the day:  

Today is a 7 (out of 10).  Dreams for the future seem possible, and then problems arise.  The good news is that these are necessary steps in making the dream happen.  Don't give up.   

Shop Til Your Parking Meter Runs Out

I never shop downtown.

I live less than 5 miles from the Magnificent Mile but I've always found going down there to be effort I'm not willing to exert.  Instead I will drive 15 miles out of my way to a mall where I can park.  You can take the girl out of the suburbs but you can't take the suburbs out of the girl...  

Yesterday I had a voiceover audition downtown off Michigan Avenue and decided that I would seize the day and shop around for Mr. Jarcy's upcoming birthday.  Oh, I had a glorious time!  I went to the Nordstrom's mall and saw Dale from the last season of "Top Chef" on the street.  I was beaming and thought he was someone I know until I realized he is just one of my reality television friends.  I had committed so much to the smile that even Dale was wondering if we were acquaintances.  

I got done with my purchasing and was thrilled with myself for breaking out of the comfort zone.  So much fun dropping cash downtown with the tourists and trendsetters!  I felt exhilarated as I turned the corner and headed to my car.

And then ran smack dab into Mr. Jarcy.    

I couldn't believe it.  Right there on the street we ran right into one another.  I had thought about crossing the street earlier and didn't.  I had thought about running into another store and didn't.  Instead I ran right into the husband.  Ridiculous.  I did my best to conceal the gifts but retail companies do everything in their power to make their bags identifiable by anyone within a 300 yard radius-- Oh look!  That woman just purchased something small from Nordstroms! Wow, that sure is a nice store, I quite enjoy the shoe department!  Perhaps I should go there as well, thank you bag marketing!  

Where was my best friend Dale to help cover up all these purchases when I needed him?!  Jerk.  I saw him on the street and he didn't even bother to say "hello."  

The Deals We Make With Ourselves Are Ridic

Alright, it's has been decided that every time I waste time on a celebrity blog I must perform 10 push-ups.

I'm already up to 20 today.

I'll be as ferociously muscular as a pro wrestler by the end of the week.

I'm Torn

Should I shower and head to the store for groceries or do I shower and trek out to the mall?  Or maybe I shower, drop off dvd's to Blockbuster and leave the groceries and mall for tomorrow?  Perhaps I forgo the shower all together.  If I scratch that off the agenda then I should go work out.  I could walk to Blockbuster.  Perfect, I'll just bundle up and walk.  Wait, I have dinner plans later so a shower is back on.  There's clothes still at the cleaners I need to pick up, that's on the way to...SHIT!  The cleaners is closed.  So no cleaners, that will be left for tomorrow.  Well now I'm leaving everything for tomorrow!  So what was on today?  The shower.  And the dinner.  Oh and I still just have my one pinky finger painted with polish.  Well that just looks ridiculous, like I'm highlighting the one finger.  I'll paint the rest.  Or I could simply take the polish off the one...