We're Not Cooking Cabbage Anymore

Hey you!  You over there!  Hi!

Who? Me?

Yeah, you over there!  Hello!  Hey, remember when I used to blog?

Um, no.  No, I don't remember that.  You blog?

Blogged.  Past tense.  I haven't in a really long time.  You see, I got a full time job.

Oh.  Okay...

And before that I was spending most of my time looking for a full time job.  Before that I was writing a novel as full time as I could while also raising a child full time.  I did that for quite awhile.  Well, that and sporadically posting random experiences related to the writing and child raising.  And there was a brief stint with cooking locally grown cabbage but that didn't last long.

I see.  So what kind of job did you end up with?

A job working for the same institution where I took a writing class one year ago.  I work for a writers program.  It's called Writers' Program.  And I don't have to hide my dream to finish my book.  They like that.

Wow, that's fantastic!  Congratulations!  

Thanks.

No, really, I'm so thrilled for you!  I mean, what are the odds you find a full time job with benefits that not only is in the field you love but also supportive of you accomplishing your own writing projects!

Yeah, it's real...

It's real fantastic!!!!!!!

Um, yeah, it is.

You've been working on that book and wanting to write more books and I've been sitting here wondering, "What happened to that lady who used to blog about her kid and cabbage, for god's sake?!?!  Where is she?!!"

I thought you said you didn't know I blogged?

I did?

Yes, you did.  But you're pretty happy for someone you claim to not even know blogs.

Blogged.  Past tense, remember?  


(PAUSE)


Okay, I may have looked at your blog a few times in the past.  

You did?

I did.  And I've been wondering about something-- does your kid still have wonky sleep?

Almost every night.  As much as things change, others remain the same.  And now I have to go because he's been sitting in his bed for over an hour but not falling asleep.  He's a machine.

Okay, good luck.

Thanks.

Oh and congrats again!

Thanks.

Night Parking

Around 7:30pm this evening, I did what most parents would never do with their kids-- I took mine to the park.  As you can see above, 7:30pm is not the busiest time at a playground.

That said, there were a few other parents/grandparents/caregivers blowing time and energy with their kids.  For awhile now I've wondered if there's some sort of support group for the sleep deprived parent.  I could use one of those from time to time (often).  Well, I need to look no further-- those parents whose kids refuse to go to bed at those normal kiddie hours and/or need less sleep than an ER doctor on call are all congregated at the good ol' park after 7pm!  Now, we didn't bond per se.  Everyone is too exhausted to exert any real effort at making friends.  We're there just to exert those night owls.  It's pretty obvious the park is the LAST place we really want to be as it gets dark.  

But you know what?  I think we'll do it more often.  It's actually fantastic to be at the park when not many others are.  Boy and I took a walk and he hauled this massive stick around the track with one hand and held my hand with the other.  (Queue the tears, it was so adorable.)

We also spent a good 30 minutes swinging.  That's 30 minutes I wasn't watching a Pixar movie!!!  I love Pixar but it was more than refreshing to -- god forbid-- turn off the tv and spend an evening out of the friggin apartment.  

As we drove home around 8:30pm, I saw another mommy with a toddler boy walking the streets and while I didn't stop the car and haul her into a long embrace, I did think, "That woman knows what this is like.  Her kid doesn't sleep 'normal hours' either.  I love her."  Speaking of love-- I love this guy above.  I'll love him (and the park) even more if we have an uninterrupted night of sleep.  It's a given the park outing has exhausted me.  The Boy?  I'll know more by morning.  

Where's Boy?

"I wonder if She sees me here?  Maybe I won't have to nap if She doesn't.   When will She learn that Boy is in charge of any and all sleeping in this household?  She's still not getting it."

A Rocking Meditation For Two

Most Amazing Boy To Ever Live
(photo is just too irresistible to not post a second time)

You've all heard me complain about sleep on no less than several hundred occasions (I'm a broken record!).  Every night is a crap shoot as to how things are gonna play out.  Will he just play for a little while and then peacefully conk out?  Is he gonna scream bloody murder for 5 minutes and then conk out but awaken 5 times throughout the night for no reason apparent to us?  Am I going to make it emotionally, mentally and spiritually to reach his 18th birthday with all this sleep stuff screwing with me?  It's all a mystery.

After our usual routine of books, teeth brushing and "Nina Sleeps" from our cable On Demand feature I was ready for the night to end.  (That "Nina Sleeps" program could cause drowsiness after a week of sleep, it is that powerful.)  I put Boy in bed and prayed he would settle himself.

He did not.

Now this is the point in the story where I usually start to lose it.  "It" meaning my mind.  "It" meaning hope. "It" meaning my faith in whether I can successfully pull this Mommy thing off.  Fatigued myself, I start talking to The Boy on the video monitor as if he [a] can hear me, and [b] will follow my instruction.  "Go to bed, Boy!  Please," I plead, "Mommy will buy you your very own horsie, Ford F150 and city bus first thing in the morning if you just go to sleep now!"  My blood pressure begins to sky rocket and no matter what I try to ignore the crying toddler I just cannot tune him out.  I can't read, watch tv, prepare for sleep myself...I'm full of anxiety.  I get stressed, angry, sad, blah blah blah insert horrible feeling emotion here.

So tonight I switched tactics.

Why am I doing this?!?!  Who says I have to let him cry in there?  We both hate it!  Tonight he just doesn't want to do this sleep thing and tonight I am just not gonna force the issue or get angry and stressed.  Accept it, Mrs. Jarcy!  So I got him out of his crib.  I changed his diaper.  I stared at him for a long time as he laid there on the changing table staring back up at me.  I smiled and played with his lovely curls, caressed his smooth cheeks. We both were calm.  I touched my nose to his said, "Honk, honk."  He took his finger and touched my nose.  "Gah!" he said.  ("Gah" is the universal word used to identify everything.)  "Yes, Boy, that's Mama's nose."  Then he pointed out my hair, my eyes, my mouth.  I pointed out all his facial features in return.

I didn't know what to do with him next so I held him in my arms.  We rocked back and forth.  I simply loved him with all my might.  He put his head down on my shoulder and his body sunk into my torso.  It felt so nice.  Usually he's running all over the place and I can't get him to sit still longer than 5 seconds.  I'll hold him as long as he'll let me, I thought.  We rocked about the apartment as I turned off lights.  I turned on an Enya cd and we rocked for a good 15 minutes in the middle of the living room.  I felt so lucky to have that moment with him.  It reminded me of when he was a newborn and Mr. Jarcy and I would have to rock him for hours.  If we weren't rocking him then chances were he was not sleeping.  It was so stressful back then!  But not now, this rocking was like a moving meditation for the two of us.  My arms hurt from holding his 30 lb. body but I didn't care.  I just kept rocking, enjoying the music, really enjoying the lack of crying and really, really enjoying him.

He fell asleep.

There's no telling what the next bedtime will bring.  I don't think I can rock 30 lbs of Boy to bed every night nor do I think he'll want that.  But there are those moments in life when you think, "I am never going to forget this moment" and it was one of them.  For both of us.
 

Update Update Sleep?

Cabbage Update 9/18/10:
You will all be happy to know I made something with the cabbage.  I made a runza.  It's usually a little pastry puff filled with meat, onions, cheese and cabbage.  Per my friend Lolo's instructions, I made one huge runza pastry and it was enough to feed four adults last night and two adults tonight.  The recipe required 4 cups of shredded cabbage.  After shredding 4 cups worth the cabbage was still the size of Texas. (What kind of magic grew this beast already?!)  So while our dinner guests brought super sweet and delicious scones as a host gift, we sent them home with a huge slice of cabbage.  It's safe to say we faired better in the trade.

The Fight Against Clutter Update 9/18/10:
We participated in our very first yard sale today.  I sold baby items at a ridiculously low price and sometimes tossed in freebies.  "Just take it, please!" I cried at the sight of a little clock radio I have no memory of buying in the first place.  I'm pretty sure I could have gotten more cash had I held out but this pregnant lady wanted so many of the items and it seemed more important for the goods to be put to use then haggle with her for ten more dollars.  I wasn't too happy, however, with all those who lifted items right from under my nose!  One minute I had 3 pairs of toddler shoes to sell and then next minute they had vanished.  Same with some little photo albums and gently-used shirts.  I kept telling myself it was fine if the items were gone because anything left was going to donation anyway. For some reason it's still not okay.

The Boy's Sleep Status Update 9/18/10:
The Boy has settled down in his crib (god willing!) for the night.  That means I need to prepare for slumber asap as well.  You still never know if you'll be getting a full night of uninterrupted blessed sleep or intermittent episodes of jarring sleep-like states.  If you don't have children or children younger than 19 months I am so sorry for you to read that statement.  It's true though (for us anyway).  And if I can just internalize my good friend's advice of "Just surrender to your new reality and you'll feel so much better!" then all will be good no matter what tonight brings.  This is the same friend who left my home last night with 3 lbs of cabbage and left a wonderful plate of scones in it's place.  Hey, can you make cabbage into scones?  Because I have at least 3 lbs left as well and I do so love scones...

Pooped Toddler

Oh joy!  I've just put The Boy down for an afternoon nap (yes, he's napping!) and upon my routine checking in (the monitor doesn't tell me if he's dead or merely sleeping) I find out he has pooped his pants.

He has pooped and is asleep.  What to do, what to do?!

I hate when this happens!  I try to prevent this scenario at all costs.  Even though he was rubbing his eyes and begging for a nap behaviorally (in the form of being a complete maniac) he also needed to poop and I didn't pick up on that part.  If he would SAY the word "poop" or anything remotely similar to tip me off we could avoid this in the future.  Or even summon me with a "mama!"  I could attempt to teach him how to sign the word "poop" but then I'd have to watch the monitor even more closely than I do already to spy him doing it.  Was that the sign for poop or the sign for milk?  Oh wait, I think he just had an itch on his chin.  AH!            

Whatever you are doing right now (meaning before and/or after reading this post) I'm guessing it is in no way similar to what I've written about here.

Naps Begin Wavering. Sanity Follows Suit.

The Boy is such a good boy for a variety of reasons.  First off, he's the most beautiful creature I've ever laid eyes on.  Secondly, his budding comedy routine is to die for.  If you ask him where his mouth is located he'll pretend to take a bite, sound effect and all.  Then out of nowhere he'll callback this gag like when he pretends to eat your foot.  He also can be very patient, calm and kind (in spite of contradicting tendencies to beat up fellow playgroup attendees from time to time).

Perhaps the most patient and calm time for him is in his crib when we put him down for a nap or bedtime.  You see, he's not tired.  We can spend the morning running all over an open field and he won't get tired.  We'll follow it up with some play time in the apartment and he won't get tired.  Countless book readings and he won't be tired.  Vast explorations of the building's hallways, stairwells and landscaping later he won't be tired.  So he'll sit in his crib for an hour--sometimes longer--just playing by himself perfectly content.  It's like, "Okay Mommy, I'll sit here and take it easy.  Clearly you need a rest.  I do not.  Please come get me when you've regained balance."

At age 18 months of age it seems we are starting the Gradual Great Nap Phase Out.  (Lone tear slowly plummets from corner of eye.)

But Mrs. Jarcy, children under the age of 4 NEED naps.  They really do.  The books written by the experts say so.  Your toddler needs at least an hour but more like two to nap each and every day.  Then they'll go down for bed around 7PM and stay there for 12 hours, typically longer.  THE BOOKS say so.  Please adhere to the parenting rules.  Right now you're breaking them and your child will suffer.   

I've consulted books.  I've consulted other moms.  I've gone so far as to consult the higher powers above and a psychic.  It's now time to face the music... he doesn't need that much sleep.  He's a supreme being.  He can sleep for less than 12 hours for the night with no day time nap some days!  If he does nap then he's up past the time most adults are and then will be in bed for maybe 10 hours.  The writing is on the wall--he's like his Grandoze (my father) and needs less sleep than most creatures.  By the time he's my father's age he too will only require 45 minutes of nightly rest.

If you don't have kids and are reading this you're probably thinking, "What's the big deal?  10 hours sounds like a lot!"  If you do have kids and are reading this you're probably thinking, "Only 10 hours and no nap?  You poor woman! You must be doing something wrong."

Both Mr. Jarcy and I were not big nappers as small children.  It's only (un)fair our offspring follows down the same, sleepless path.

*Shortly after composing this post, The Boy took a two-hour nap.  Mama's sanity thanks you, Boy.  And then was up until 10:30pm.  Mama's sanity needs to stop being directly linked to your sleep patterns.   

Crib Cat (Not) Cancer

Exhibit A:  Wood Turnicate  

This past week has been a time of super-obvious-but-took-me-forever-to-figure-out-how-obvious problem solving.  I'm ashamed to even share how blatant some of these solutions have been.  But I will--

We all know The Boy loves no snack more than his very own crib.  After trying various methods of deterring this behavior-- "Please stop, Boy" was the least effective of them all--I finally just tied a baby blanket over the nibbled on location.  There is a baby blanket tightly wrapped around each end of the crib.  Refer to Exhibit A above for the Wood Turnicate (and ignore the rest, I know this picture looks ridiculous).  It doesn't cover all the places he has gnawed on, however, it does get the "sweet spots" he seems to eat more often.  There, problem solved, suckers!

For as long as she's been alive, Creepy The Cat--shown on the right side column-- has demanded food somewhere around 3 am.  She's nearing age 11. !!!!!  Yes, I know this is insane and, no, I can't just get rid of her.  Back in our beloved Chicago apartment we were able to close her off in the kitchen which was far enough away from the bedroom to not be awoken by howling and door scratching.  It was glorious.  We also started her on Prozac which makes her rather delightful.  She is relentless, however, with this middle of the night food request.  Unfortunately, when one doesn't sleep consistently for long stretches (me), one tends to become enraged from the disrupted sleep (me) and then is just as big a pain in the ass, if not worse, as the cat (me).  Then genius struck.  I have now strategically placed a fan blowing out in front of The Boy's door so she can't go bug him and then have a fan on so loud in our room that we can't hear her woeful cries.  And it is amazing.  SLEEP!  OH HOW I'VE MISSED YOU!  We'll all need hearing aids in five years but it is worth it.  There, problem solved, suckers!

So yeah, we're not curing cancer here but sometimes it's the little things in life getting fixed that make a world of difference.  Problem solving here, suckers!

Wood Is NOT A Food Group

The Boy loves eating his crib.  Yes, you read that right--he loves eating his crib.

HOW DO I GET HIM TO STOP EATING HIS CRIB?!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

This is ridiculous.  When you have a baby, nobody tells you that baby is gonna want to eat the vessel in which he sleeps.  Nobody.  They may be like, "Yeah, my baby chewed up the railings but then I got some covers and he/she stopped.  No biggie, problem was solved."

Well that's not the case here.  HE'S EATING THE CRIB!  SOON HE'LL BE TRYING OUT HIS FORK SKILLS ON THE CRIB!

I would be more than fine if The Boy were simply nibbling on the crib.  Instead he is now EATING the wood.  I've gone in to his room 4 times today just to tell him to stop, lay down and take a nap before Mommy opens a bottle of wine for lunch.  There is nothing to cover the section he's eating.  I've tried.  I tried fabric AND the gummy guard rail cover.  He eats both of those as well.

You'd think we never feed him.  We do.  Often.  I'm going to blame this shameful behavior on teething and pray it ends by the week's end.  If it doesn't then I'll be forced to find another sleeping vessel to put him in.  Perhaps one made out of actual food.  And then I'll get myself one too because sleeping and eating are two of my most favorite past-times.  

The Dream Police

10 PM and this JOKER--er, toddler boy-- is still rocking and rolling all over his crib.  Other children his age are in bed sooo much earlier!  Why doesn't he understand that?!  I'm starting to think I can't allow him to nap during the day just so he'll sleep at night.  Last night he went to bed a little past 11 and then was up a little before 8.  This is cruel and unusual behavior!  I'm reporting him to the Sleep Police if this keeps up.  We can't have a baby playing in his bed for over an hour and then finally nodding off to sleep past 10 PM...can we?  Maybe I'm the one who's gonna be reported to the police for cruel and unusual behavior!  I'm failing as a parent!  I'm failing as a parent!  

Breathe, Mrs. Jarcy, breathe.  It does you no good to compare your son to other babies.  But yes, you are sort of failing as a parent.  Just try to keep it together though, you're not helping matters.

This is why I can't shake my own napping schedule.  I nap almost every day, it's starting to seem really ridiculous.  But I feel so tired!  And I think there are twinges of boredom creeping in.  I'm failing as a parent!  I'm failing as a parent!  

Perhaps you could use his napping time a little more productively?  I know you've been putting off rearranging the pots and pans cabinet for some time now but if you won't step up and do it then WHO WILL?!  The cat would do this necessary task before Mr. Jarcy, let's not kid ourselves.  It's up to you.  And yes, you are sort of failing as a parent here and there.

I know, I know, tough life I lead.  It's not.  Yes, he's a very active boy and there is no wearing him out but I really can't complain even though I am.  Like I said, some days just feel more "Groundhog Day"ish than others.  This week has been wonderful but also incredibly draggy.  And when The Boy doesn't sleep as much as other times I tend to lose it a little (lot).

I'm failing as a parent!  I'm failing as a parent! 

Plus writing "to do"lists that include "buy canned cat food in bulk" just isn't making me feel all that alive.  And if it did then I'd worry about that too.  Okay, Worry, I gotta put you to bed for the night.  The dentist says I'm creating more jaw bone just from clenching my damn teeth so often from anxiety and anger.  I really need to increase my yoga and meditation sessions from zero to some before my entire mouth is just jaw bone.

What  is it you have anxiety and anger over again?  I got distracted by this Housewives of New York City "Lost Footage" episode for a moment.  Oh right, we were discussing your failures as a parent.  These NYC gals seem to handle stress by drinking excessively, trashing one another repeatedly and recording really bad but catchy pop songs.  Maybe that could help you cope as well?  

Yoga, are you still up?  Let's do this before I change my mind and put us both to bed.  Let's see if Wine feels like some down dog action while we're at it.

Buzz Kill Mommy

Today I am an evil mother.

For some reason, I figured The Boy should eat a lunch.  He mashed it up into little pieces and then screamed when I took it away.  Then I made him another and entirely different lunch for him to eat later. God, I'm horrible!

For some reason, I figured The Boy launching himself from a table onto the couch with a can of cat food in his hand could be dangerous.  Before I could grab him he did just that and then screamed at me when he wasn't allowed a repeat performance.  Apparently he meant to hit his head with the stupid can for I got more tears than that experience.

For some reason, I figured The Boy should nap.  These 5pm nap deals aren't working for me as they mean he's up until 11pm.  He doesn't seem to realize that I'm considered an old mommy.  A mommy who is losing her own inner night owl because she's nearing 40.  I'm getting so old that I'll probably ask for dinner out at the local hospital cafeteria by 4:30pm next time an anniversary rolls around.  So now he's screaming at me again and I'm considering Meals On Wheels.

Like I said....evil.  Maybe I should be sent off to the hotel down the street as punishment.  A timeout, if you will.  A day/night long timeout.  A timeout that involves that god awful heated pool and even more god awful outdoor bar.  Yes, that kind of timeout is definitely in order.  Because I've been behaving real badly.  So I should go take that timeout.  Probably until The Boy is done with the latest round of teething...

Sleeple

Some babies take naps in their cribs.  Others snooze while eating an apple.  Every few seconds The Boy's head would rise up, take a nibble of the apple and then nod back off.  That's what happens when babies stave off naps all afternoon... one minute you're enjoying a late afternoon snack and the next your face down on your high chair's tray due to overwhelming exhaustion.

If I had a high chair tray I'm pretty sure my head would flop down on it from exhaustion right now too.  One of our marathon nights.  Not familiar?  We are...it's the time when no matter how much activity you provide Baby all day and night, he will still fight off sleep.  At midnight Baby will be whimpering in his crib because you've had the audacity to put him in there to sleep or at the very least pretend for a good 10-12 hours to sleep.  This all happens AFTER he's given you an earful of screaming over the FIRST attempt to put him to bed at 10 PM.  I know, foolish parents!  How could we be such morons to think Baby would want to go to bed at a time when other babies have been slumbering away for close to two hours?  Idiots.

Which brings me to my last item on this post's agenda--what do uber-celebrities do when their babies refuse night time sleep?  I'm talking the Tom Cruises, Victoria Bekhams and Jennifer Whatshernames of the world (I can't remember that one diva Jennifer's last name that's how much fatigue has set in).  Do they even know when their kids are awake at night?  Do they have kids that awaken at night?  Or are they like dolls one sets in a room and then wakes in the morning when it's time for breakfast?  I know they love their children and all, just wondering to what degree--if at all-- they go through some of these parenting milestones like schmucks like me.  

Floor Nap

Ah, the floor.  A perfect place to nap.  Wait, what?  Floor?  NAP?  This is odd behavior for The Boy.

I don't know what happened.  The Boy was playing, we sat down for a late lunch and then all of a sudden he was conked out on the floor with his blankies.  He's snoring even.  It's louder than blazes in here too.  There's a leaf blower outside growling like crazy, Wilco is on the iPod and 3 grown men along with me talking and eating.  But he's on the floor asleep.  Yet another sign he's leaving baby land in the dust.  I gotta go weep now.  

Checkin Out

Possible career choices for The Boy when he is older--

• Astronomer
• Taxi driver
• Cook in a late night diner
• Air traffic controller
• Stand-up comic
• A nurse working the 3rd shift
• A factory worker working the 3rd shift
• Any job that has a 3rd shift option

Yes, those are all likely options.

A preference for staying up way past any decent bedtime hour?  Check.

An ability to require less sleep than any other human being on the planet?  Check.  

Woman losing all sense of reality due to her baby's ever changing sleep habits?  Oh yeah, a big ol' Check.

11PM Sunday

It's almost 11PM...do you know where The Boy is?

I'll give you a hint--it's not in bed sleeping.

Nope, he's out and about exploring the apartment.  The CAT is still here, mom and dad!  I must play with her!  Ah, my little night owl.  That's what I get for letting him nap for close to two hours.  I guess?!?  Who really knows with this sleep deal.  I know there are times I'm wide awake when I really should be sleeping as well.  That's what I tell myself at times like these anyway.  It's been a long day of entertaining a baby but lucky for us he's been a lot of fun.  That said, I'd like to go to bed soon so let's all say a prayer that The Boy will succumb to the slightest glimmer of fatigue sometime soon.

Early Evening Routine With Mrs. Jarcy

The Boy is asleep.  It's nap time.  And now approaching 4:30pm.  Do I wake him so he'll sleep at night or do I let him sleep so he'll sleep at night?  Wait a minute, it makes no difference what I decide because he'll either sleep or not sleep tonight based on what HE decides.  For a moment I forgot that we are the ones sleep-trained, not him.  Sorry, Boy.

So what can I decide...  Should I have a coffee or a glass of wine?  Hmmm, well if I have a coffee then I can have a wine later.  If I have wine now then I should probably hold off and not have more.  Or just have more much later.  But maybe I should take him outside and run him since he's a Labrador in baby's clothing.  Yes, so a coffee it is.  Wine, you're on deck.

Coffee homemade or coffee bought at the cafe around the corner?  If I want coffee from the cafe I have to wait for The Boy to wake.  Or I can just make some here, this is why we have a coffee maker, after all.  But then if I start it up he's sure to wake up!  Wait, is that what I wanted to happen anyway?  I can't remember.

Awake

Hello!

I'm awake, are you? You probably are if you live on the east coast and not if residing here on the west. It's 4:45am and I have been up for almost 2 hours. Not sure why either although all that late afternoon coffee probably didn't help. Am I forgetting something? Did I leave the oven on? I'm not sure.

I've spent this time in the middle of the night wisely--I've consumed two large pieces of Hawaiian-style pizza and read any and every gossip site I can find. Now if I could just locate some chocolate cupcakes I'd be a happy, sleepless woman!

Here's a random photo of The Boy because no post can go without a mention of him. Isn't he adorable? Yep.

Another Post On Sleep

Why oh why do I continue to turn to "experts" when I want to better understand my baby's sleep patterns? It does me no good. The Boy is asleep right now and has been for 2 1/2 hours. This is his new norm. He sleeps almost 3 hours in the AM (the new year is being immensely good to me!) and then has had a 20 minute catnap in the afternoon. "Mr. Chicago Sleep Expert" states in his book that babies ALWAYS phase out their morning naps first and hold onto an afternoon one instead. Well that is definitely not going on here. In fact, very little about The Boy's sleep habits has coincided with what I've read in books. I wish that were not the case because I so desperately have wanted a how-to manual but it just hasn't worked out that way. I know better and yet have continued to waste precious online shopping time reading the various sleep bibles in search of answers.

New Year's Resolution #1-- Put the sleep books down once and for all!

Childless ladies and gentlemen of the Internet who plan to have kids in the future, remember to toss these books out the window from time to time and know that only your baby is the expert on his/her sleep patterns. And then just roll with it. Improvise, if you will. YES, the baby is now asleep AND, therefore, I will use this time to sleep as well/play tetris/watch "The Housewives of Orange County" marathon. It will serve you much better, I promise.

Quack Quack

I'm convinced the neighbors think I'm torturing my kid. I'm not. He's overtired, cranky and not falling asleep. I've done all I can with my bag of tricks (I mean my boobs) and now he's just gotta cry a bit. And it is the worst thing ever. I never like to let him cry. It hurts worse than if someone amputated my arm. But I'm at home alone and I have to walk away for 5 minutes and collect myself. And, honestly, what makes it worse is that I live in an apartment building as opposed to a single family home where we would have more privacy. I would still feel horrible about letting him cry but I wouldn't worry about the police showing up at my door in a few moments to haul my little baby away from me.

And now two random L.A. sightings--

1. I know where "Duck" lives. He's a character on Mad Men and has been a bunch of other characters on other shows like Desperate Housewives and Castle. Well he lives down the street from the Pilates studio I go to. For some reason I'm very excited about this revelation. I like him.
2. A man was shopping in the grocery store today wearing his pajamas and a terry cloth robe. It was the most ridiculous thing ever. Of course, my first thought was, Can I do this too? If it is an accepted behavior here in L.A. then I will gladly follow suit. Judging the reactions he got from other shoppers though I think I'll have to keep putting day time clothes on. Booooo.

The Boy just went quiet. I'm always convinced it's for no more than 2 minutes so I better go pee and then prepare for my next plan of attack. Beyond glamorama here I know but I'm happy this is my life. He may not like to go to sleep but he's the best thing ever.

Burnt To A Crisp

Not 2 seconds after I clicked "send" on my last post did The Boy wake up and cry from his teething. He's still up. It's 11:07 PM. And now his parents are toast. Maybe I'll eat some toast to keep my energy up! Ha.