Wood Is NOT A Food Group

The Boy loves eating his crib.  Yes, you read that right--he loves eating his crib.

HOW DO I GET HIM TO STOP EATING HIS CRIB?!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?!

This is ridiculous.  When you have a baby, nobody tells you that baby is gonna want to eat the vessel in which he sleeps.  Nobody.  They may be like, "Yeah, my baby chewed up the railings but then I got some covers and he/she stopped.  No biggie, problem was solved."

Well that's not the case here.  HE'S EATING THE CRIB!  SOON HE'LL BE TRYING OUT HIS FORK SKILLS ON THE CRIB!

I would be more than fine if The Boy were simply nibbling on the crib.  Instead he is now EATING the wood.  I've gone in to his room 4 times today just to tell him to stop, lay down and take a nap before Mommy opens a bottle of wine for lunch.  There is nothing to cover the section he's eating.  I've tried.  I tried fabric AND the gummy guard rail cover.  He eats both of those as well.

You'd think we never feed him.  We do.  Often.  I'm going to blame this shameful behavior on teething and pray it ends by the week's end.  If it doesn't then I'll be forced to find another sleeping vessel to put him in.  Perhaps one made out of actual food.  And then I'll get myself one too because sleeping and eating are two of my most favorite past-times.