Wednesday, April 30, 2008

The Soup Is Delicious

It happened!  It happened!  After 5 nights of fever and chills at 5am, the pattern has been broken.  I am really excited about this!  I need to post more wishes on my blog so dreams will become reality even more!  Dear magical blog, I wish to be healthy enough for my trip to Florida on Sunday.  And so it shall be...  

My friend went to the Cubs game last night even though it was freezing cold out.  She and I complain to one another about the obnoxious drunkies who flood our neighborhood during the season and neither of us claim to be big fans of baseball in general.  That said, I was insanely jealous of her outing last night.  Beer, bad nachos, rowdy Cubs fans...lucky girl!  You know I'm ready to be released back into the wild when I'm all teary-eyed over a baseball game.   

I have officially overloaded on HGTV. I used to find it enjoyable but I'm gonna have to throw the TV out the window if I see one more "House Hunters" where a woman whines the 3,000 square foot home she shares with a husband and small dog just isn't big enough to suit their needs.   

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

Hello World, Rise And Shine

Mr. Jarcy is filming a commercial today so he got up at 5 am.  I too woke up at 5 but my reason was quite different--I was due for my morning chills/fever session.  It has happened for the last 5 nights of sleep.  Maybe 5 will be the lucky number and I will not have another.  Let's all wish for that, shall we? 

I've been watching the Today Show.  Matt Lauer is doing his annual "Where In The World Is Matt Lauer" tour which seems to be the only time I must turn on the show.  It seems like he's always doing this!  That's fine with me though, I love to travel.  Unfortunately, someone talked a very sleep-deprived Matt into donning orange pants while in Amsterdam and all his fellow anchors back in NY have been making fun of him.  Poor dude, he probably doesn't even realize he's wearing pants after all that nonstop travel.  

My mother-in-law is stopping by to drop off soup.  I wonder if I could talk her into scoring me more ibuprofen...running low on supplies here.    

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Almost A Full Year NOT Sick. Then WHAMMO.

Oh friends, all is not well with Mrs. Jarcy.  

I've had a fever, chills and aches since Thursday night.  No amount of Ibuprofen seems to help it.  And the Dr. said it could takes week to shake this bastard virus.  Woo!  Something to look forward to I guess!  Who gets stuff like this?  10 year-olds maybe?  Then I wish my mom was here.  Mr. Jarcy has been a good caretaker though.  Not quite the weekend he was anticipating I'm sure.      

I have to make friends with my bed now.  Easier said than done with that fat cat gatekeeper trafficking who makes it on.  Wish me luck.  

Thankfully my neighbors are having a Sunday afternoon party...they love to party when I'm sick.  Well, they just love to party.  Maybe they can pour a little beer out of its can in my honor.  "This here is for our homegirl Mrs. Jarcy upstairs.  Peace little lady.  Alright, now lets jack up the music!  Yeah yeah yeah!"  

Monday, April 21, 2008

Cold Turkey

I am not a huge fan of eating meat.  To each his own, I'm not about judging others.  It's just not my thing.  People always want to know my reasoning for this and there are several.  

1)  I don't typically crave it.  
2)  I LOVE animals and feel bad eating them when I don't have to.
3)  It's healthier to not eat it.

That said, I have slipped off the meat-free wagon.  Now I am not so crazed with this endeavor that I don't allow for meat at all.  On the contrary, if that is what a host is serving I will eat it.  Or if I'm stuck in the middle of Nevada with an In and Out Burger, I am going to indulge.  But in the last few weeks I have clearly moved towards being a more carnivorous creature.  I have consumed a pulled pork sandwich, turkey club (bacon included, of course), big fat cheeseburger, pork roast and countless fish and egg dishes. 

Does Dr. Drew deal with these kinds of issues at his celebrity-filled clinic?  I need an intervention.  I'm prescribing myself a healthy dosage of Disney movies, and tofu hot dogs for the rest of the week.    

Sunday, April 20, 2008

The Real Housewife Of Chicago's North Side

Our apartment is in complete disarray.  Who out there is coming over to clean this joint?  I'll be around most of the week with little work projects here and there but not much else and will be happy to let you in.  

Saturday, April 19, 2008

Adventures In Shopping

I just got back from shopping at Yorktown Mall in Lombard.  My grandpa had given me a gift card to Von Maur at Christmas and I held off using it until the nicer weather rolled around.  I'm impressed with my restraint--I usually blow those things in the first week of receiving them. Additionally, whoever thought up the invention of gift cards was really, really smart.  I spent double the amount mine was for.  I'm guessing stores know that will happen with most shoppers.  Genius.  

I, also, went to a Hallmark store for a birthday card.  Amazingly enough I could NOT find a card to my liking.  They were either way too cheesy (even for me and I am cheeseball cheesy) or too serious (I can be that too).  It is ridiculous to think an entire store dedicated to greeting cards did not carry a sufficient message for me to buy.  This is proof I should be writing my own.  

No earthquakes or cougar shootings today.  I think I can officially stop worrying about one of them returning any time soon.  (Big exhale sigh)

Friday, April 18, 2008

New Concern Replaces Cougar Hysteria

Setting:  Roscoe Village three flat apartment.  4:35ish am, Friday.  Perfume bottles on a dresser begin to shake.  A snoozing Mr. and Mrs. and two cats begin to stir.  They are groggy.  

MR.:  Why is the building shaking?  

MRS.:  I don't know, is it our neighbors fault? (Mrs. Jarcy likes to blame everything on the neighbors.)

MR.:  Is it an earthquake?  

MRS:  No way, we live in Chicago.  (Secretly Mrs. Jarcy worries it was an earthquake but talks herself out of that belief.)

MR.:  What time is it?

MRS.:  4:40.  That's too early for the neighbor to go to work.  I don't know then.

MR.:  Me neither, I guess we'll just....snore, snore, snore.  (Mr. Jarcy falls back to sleep mid-sentence and Mrs. Jarcy follows his lead).


Thursday, April 17, 2008

I'm Still Worried There Is A Cougar On The Loose.

I had scary dreams last night.  I was getting the crap beat out of me and my parents just stood there and did nothing to help.  Then they got in their cars and drove off to work while I staggered about from my injuries.  I hate when I dream bad things about my loved ones.  It makes me paranoid and hateful.  I begin holding a grudge for something they in no way created.  I almost feel like calling my dad and asking him what the hell that was about?!  I tell Mr. Jarcy about the dreams in which he hurts me and sometimes he apologizes.  


Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Feeling Bad About The Big Dead Cougar. I'm Sorry Cougar.

I am going to Florida in a few weeks with my best friend and am overjoyed by my good fortune.  I have been craving sun, sand, sandals for a long time now.  We did this last year as well.  Her parents own a condo on the beach and I will spend my days walking on this beach, soaking in the pool and (goddess willing) typing my little heart out for my latest project.  

I must begin preparing my ass for Floridian viewing.  There are other parts of my body that could benefit from prep time as well.  Maybe I need to reinstate that "push-ups punishment for viewing online celebrity gossip sites" rule back into effect.  It worked so well the first time...

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Roscoe Village Is Full Of Cougars

A cougar was running around my Chicago neighborhood yesterday until Chicago cops shot it dead a few blocks over in an alley.  We're not talking the fortysomething hot variety who preys on young men either.  

I heard what sounded like a round of gun shots around 6pm but convinced myself it couldn't be such.  Maybe fireworks?  Some home improvement tool?  Then two helicopters hovered overhead.   Hmmm, that's strange, I thought.  Why are helicopters hovering over the Starbucks?  Weird.  Maybe I need to investigate and as a bonus fill up on coffee...  

I left my house around 6:25pm and walked down to my friends house.  Tons of people were out running around, not the typical traffic.  I asked some kid if he knew what all the fuss was and he's the one who told me about the cougar.  

News reports say there were sightings of this 150-pound cat throughout the day.  Well that's news to me!  Nice to be informed of such, huh?  And if they knew about the cougar all darn day, why didn't they have a tranquilizer gun instead?  Nope, shoot it dead.  Now I feel sad, relieved and still scared.  Are there more cougars out there?  I'm a dog walker!  I don't think I want to find out.  And if there are more cougars, can we please relocate them to a better suited environment sans shooting them?!  Crimeny!

I wonder if one needs a permit to carry tranquilizing darts...

Monday, April 14, 2008

My Inner Fashionista Is Aghast

The internet is all abuzz with news Nina Garcia is no longer the fashion director for ELLE magazine.  People seem to be freaking out over this...oh my goodness!  Poor Nina, what is she going to do now?  Will she be allowed to judge on Project Runway still?!  Eeeeek!!!

1)  Did anyone know who Nina Garcia was before Project Runway?  This isn't Anna Wintour of Vogue here.  No offense to Nina Garcia but I only know of this woman from being on TV.
2)  Do folks read ELLE??? 
3)  Seriously, who out there reads ELLE?!  Is it ELLE or Elle?  I don't even know.  This magazine is so far down on my magazine buying totem poll it's not even on the poll.  

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Fluff and Fuzz

One of my jobs involves playing with puppy dogs.  These two "clients" are about as cute as they come.  There are worse jobs in life and I've had them.  Thank the gods above I now have this gig!  

Friday, April 11, 2008

Safety First People

Mrs. Jarcy is none too happy right now.  That's me, I'm Mrs. Jarcy--

I'm in the midst of spring cleaning.  Actually, we could just call it cleaning because I've been on this quest to de-clutter and organize for what seems like eons now.   I'm hitting it all-- there will be nothing left in this house that doesn't serve me, Mr. Jarcy or these two fat cats.  Sweaters inherited from my sister's friend that are too tight?  Gone.  Random notes scattered about on random pieces of paper?  Gone.  Never used Williams Sonoma yogurt maker?  Gone, gone, gone. 

I've now moved on to old cell phones.  I read somewhere you need to delete all the personal info left in the phone before recycling them off.  Yes, alright, makes perfect sense and will do.   HOWEVER, this darn thing keeps asking me for a security code in order to delete the contact list.  This is where I am stuck.  Security code?  I used my all-purpose code and it does not work.  I've tried a number of combinations, none work.  I've looked in the manual--which was no help whatsoever, thank you very much.  So now I am left with individually deleting all contacts listed in this phone because it will allow deletion that way.  Wait, what???

Which brings me to the point of this rant...

????!!!?!!?!  Why let me individually delete numbers but not all of them simultaneously?!  That makes no sense whatsoever.  Security code needed for mass deletion but not one at a time?  Couldn't one accidentally delete one phone number as easily as a batch?  And how hard is it to program security code prompt on ALL deletion?  One is okay, yeah, go for it.  Wanna delete them all one by one?  Sure thing!  But all in one fell swoop?  Woah, hold on here.  Well guess what-- There's no point in having SECURITY if there is a breach in security! 

Where's my tetris machine?  I gotta let off some steam.

Thursday, April 10, 2008

Jiffy Lube Shout Out!

Good lordy! Next time you have a car and it needs servicing offered at Jiffy Lube, do yourself a favor and go when it is raining. You will be the only patron there and the Jiffy Lube boys will treat you like royalty. Seriously. For $31.33, I've never been treated nicer.

Jiffy Lube, I'm Coming To Visit

The cold is dissipating thankfully--I mean the one in my body, not outside. Outside is April showers but I'm still happy since the fog hovering over me is lifting. Yeah! I will miss my sick dreams though. Sick dreams are the most trippy and enjoyable things ever.

I have to take my car in for an oil change and coolant fill. I have avoided this task forever now. I wonder how much longer I could really push it?

I think I'm gonna write a book. My best friend is going to Florida for a few days because she can work from anywhere with her job. I don't have a job like that but I've convinced myself it would be a perfect excuse to go and write my little heart out. Well, between dips in the pool and jaunts on the beach!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Hanky Panky

Well I have lost all concept of what day or time it is this week. Last Friday I drove with my father to North Carolina to pick up my sister. She was at a college doing an internship. It was a long trip that day and it rained pretty much the entire 13 hours. My dad also failed to tell me he had a cough/cold. I was thrilled to have some quality one-on-one time with him but my dad's persistent use of a hanky grossed me out.

Saturday we were supposed to meander our way back to my hometown of Aurora, IL. Sister and I were in her ancient car (named Chubby) while my dad was in his car in front of us. We caravanned home. We took brief stops--one stop involved a disgusting McDonald's meal even for McDonald's standards in Berea, Kentucy--but we soldiered on until we got to Aurora. It was pretty brutal by the time we hit I-65 in Indiana. There is not a worse patch of highway then that I think in all the US. Besides, that's the stretch of highway where some crazy guy in a trench coat was shooting at people a few years ago. I'm still creeped out by it. We finally arrived to Aurora late night Saturday where my mom was waiting for us. She also was infected with this cold!

So, of course, by Sunday evening I was not feeling well and have been sicko ever since. In the last three days I think I've slept more hours than I've been awake. Thankfully my somewhat laid back lifestyle affords this kind of rest! And I'm still glad I went on the trip...if you can really call it such. More like a stop over.

I now have to go nanny some puppies. Again, an occupation that will tolerate my illness. Pup pups are therapy.

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Pucker Up

I got my lips injected to make them look like Angelina Jolie's today. They're a little sore but look really big and hot. I'm going back to this Dr. for some other procedures at the end of the month.

April Fools, I could never do that. These women think their lips look so much better post injection when in reality they look horrific! What's wrong with them? Apparently my lips are thinning out as I age which is something I never knew or noticed on others. My mother and mother-in-law are 60 and I've never thought they need new lips. And now here I am looking at my lips wondering if they are smaller/thinner/less appealing than before.

I have enough hang-ups with my body, so I'm going to leave my poor lips alone.