New Concern Replaces Cougar Hysteria

Setting:  Roscoe Village three flat apartment.  4:35ish am, Friday.  Perfume bottles on a dresser begin to shake.  A snoozing Mr. and Mrs. and two cats begin to stir.  They are groggy.  

MR.:  Why is the building shaking?  

MRS.:  I don't know, is it our neighbors fault? (Mrs. Jarcy likes to blame everything on the neighbors.)

MR.:  Is it an earthquake?  

MRS:  No way, we live in Chicago.  (Secretly Mrs. Jarcy worries it was an earthquake but talks herself out of that belief.)

MR.:  What time is it?

MRS.:  4:40.  That's too early for the neighbor to go to work.  I don't know then.

MR.:  Me neither, I guess we'll just....snore, snore, snore.  (Mr. Jarcy falls back to sleep mid-sentence and Mrs. Jarcy follows his lead).