Friday, May 30, 2008

Attention All Callers

Please STOP calling my cell phone if you are looking for The Bean Cafe.  This number is NOT The Bean Cafe.  I don't know where that is or why they get calls as often as you have all phoned.  

Furthermore, please don't get crabby when I relay this information to you.  You are my annoyance, not the other way around.  And if for some reason this is a prank, ha ha, now let's be done with it.  

God, I need some coffee...

Monday, May 26, 2008

Nap Time Is Near

Hello!  It is so beautiful outside, I'm thrilled!  We're weird though and are enjoying it indoors.  Lots of windows open and lounging around.  We've had a weekend spent with family--both sides even--and now we seem to be all partied out.  Our neighbors are having a soiree in the back yard but we've just been antisocial here.  Instead we've been organizing our home and watching the "Jon and Kate Plus 8" marathon on TLC.  I am in love with this show, it's one of the rare reality shows I can watch without experiencing guilt.  

Monday, May 19, 2008

Elizabeth Just Drives Me Bonkers

I try to watch "The View."  I attempt this feat at least once a week.  I am holding up my end of the bargain here as a viewer by listening.

But those darn ladies are not keeping up their end...

It's called "The View" ladies!  Please, for the love of the goddess above, PLEASE let each other speak!  You need to do this by listening to one another.  I can't hear a thing because you're talking all at the same time.  Screaming your point over the other women does not count as listening.  Give and take here...GIVE.  AND.  TAKE.  Oy.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Please Wake Up and Calm Down, Folks. You're Scaring Me Big Time.

I've had quite the week with my car and stop signs:

1)  I almost hit a biker while making a right turn.  I felt HORRIBLE about this and the biker was very quick to place all blame on me.  He flipped me off and he yelled at me.  I pulled over and on the verge of tears screamed out an apology and calmed myself down.  I've had friends get hit by cars on their bikes, I in no way want to do that!  I stopped but he didn't.  He didn't stop, he just kept blazing right past me on that bike flailing his arms and carrying on like I meant to cause him harm.  And that's what tipped me off--WAIT A MINUTE!  This dude came out of NOWHERE from behind me and didn't stop at the stop sign.  Aren't bikers supposed to follow the rules of the road as well?  I think so!  Secondly, he wasn't wearing a helmet.  Lastly, I don't have eyes in the back of my head, I can't possibly know when someone is flying past me at the speed of light from behind and out of nowhere.  He hadn't been there a second ago and now here he was zooming past and leaving all responsibility in my lap for his safety.  Well I'll do my part, but pitch in here!  Jerk.  

2)  I pulled up to the stop at the end of my street and I stopped.  It is a 4-way stop, we all stop.  No other cars--or bikes!-- were at the stop.  I pulled out to make a left turn and a car barreling down the road I was turning onto slammed on his breaks, slammed on his horn even more and with the other free hand flipped me the bird while screaming profane things at me.  Apparently he was completely CLUELESS that there even was a stop sign and was pissed at me for abruptly halting his forward movement.  I was in shock and just kept driving.  I hoped he wasn't going to turn around and kill me because he seemed on the verge and just needing an excuse to lose it completely.  Once I passed, he continued flying down the street at the speed of light as well. Jerk.

God I wish we were all driving horse-drawn buggies or walking to our destinations.  I'm retro like that.  That said, I got yelled at one time by a runner--A RUNNER!-- because I walked in front of him while attempting to cross the lakefront path with a small child.  It was either him or a trillion bikes...I guess I should have taken my chances with the bikes.  Jerk.  

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Pushy Northerners

Who knew Canadian pharmacies were so unbelievably persistent.  

I get no less than 3 spam emails a day pushing me to buy discounted drugs.  Enough already, I do NOT need Viagra!!!  

I wish they'd hit me up to partake in the universal health care package they enjoy up there.  Get me that and THEN we'll discuss a Viagra purchase.   

Monday, May 12, 2008

The DeKalb Oasis Is Quite Nice These Days

Mr. Jarcy is in a new campaign for the Illinois Lottery.  Yesterday we found a picture of him while making a pit stop at the DeKalb oasis.  We told the guy behind the convenient store counter and he got really excited.  So excited that he gave us a $3.00 bag of peanut M&M's for free.  I was shocked at his generosity and told him we were happy to pay for them.  "No, that's okay," he replied.  "You already had to pay $4 for that Fiji water, it's the least I can do."  

Thanks, dude!  

Friday, May 9, 2008

Fit Old Guy Kicks My Butt

Yesterday was my last day in Florida and I was really sad to leave.  I got to spend some time with my best friend and even more time alone.  I spend a fair amount of time alone at home (okay, a ton) but this was different.  This was time spent away from the TV, out in nature and soaking up the sun.  I strongly recommend this to everyone.

I took a final walk along the beach and soaked up as much as possible to take home with me.  While walking along the water's edge I heard a voice behind me say, "You're slowing down, better pick up the pace again!"  It was an old guy with a full head of white hair passing on my right.  "Well, I think you're in better shape than me," I said.  Without slowing down one bit he replied, "Oh, you're a lot younger than me...I'm 72!"  I looked down at the weights strapped around his ankles and below ridiculously sculpted calves.  Yeah, this guy was definitely in better shape than me.  Within a minute of our interaction, he was at least 1/2 a mile in front of me.  

Now back to Chicagoland and preparing for my sister's college graduation this weekend.  I can't help but wish we were holding it on the beach...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

I Am Really Liking Birds

This is my new friend.  He's a great blue heron and big!  These two fishermen were doling fish out to him from their bait bucket and then resumed fishing.  Great blue heron is a smarty though and once the fishermen left he did his own fishing from the bucket.  Take out the middlemen...seems like a good idea to me!   

Wednesday, May 7, 2008

I Scraped My Knee On The Ocean Floor.

One more evening stroll along the beach is on the agenda.  I have been privileged enough to encounter all sorts of coastal creatures this week.  

  • Live sand dollars (they're brown and leathery feeling when alive)
  • Lizards
  • One huge and beautiful white great egret (that's a bird)
  • An equally beautiful but not as huge white ibis (that's another bird)
  • Countless gulls and pelicans
  • More lizards
  • Two nearly dead puffer fish (well one was probably more than nearly) 
  • One live clam 

Oh yeah and some star fish along the restaurant we ate at last night.  The restaurant was called Sea Critters.  Never in my life did I think I would eat at a place named Sea Critters.  It must have something going for it though because I asked to go back after we dined there last year.  I ate chicken quesadillas.  That's probably frowned upon at a place that specializes in sea meat.  I'm a rebel like that.  

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

Sea Meat

The last few days I've eaten enough to feed all of Cambodia.  I do not recommend this behavior.  Ever.  The WORST part of it is that I've eaten things I don't even like.  Conch fritters?!  Come on! Ridiculous...

Embracing My Time

I got to this Gulf side town on Sunday and I'm staying until Thursday night.  Unless I decide to not return to Chicago.  In that case, I'll just send for my Mr. Jarcy, Fatty and Creepy (the cats) and an extra swim suit.  

I'm staying at the condo of my friend's family.  On one side of the building is the relaxing yet lively beach as well as a soothing swim pool.  On the other side is a Walgreens, Dairy Queen and bakery.  Yep, I'm in my very own paradise.

Tomorrow's agenda includes visits to all of the destinations mentioned above.    

Monday, May 5, 2008

View Of St. Pete Beach

Spoiled Brat


I am in Florida!  I am in Florida!  I am in Florida!  

I'll post pics later.  Right now the pool is requesting a meeting.  God, I love these moments in life.  
I went to a drum circle on the beach last night.  Best people watching ever. 


Thursday, May 1, 2008

I'll Be Outside If Anyone Needs Me

I'm pretty sure Eminem would revoke my listening privileges if he knew his music was sandwiched between Elvis' "Blue Christmas" and Enrigue Iglesias' "Tired of Being Sorry" in my iTunes library.  Please don't tell him.    

I'm also pretty sure Miley Cyrus is really a 25 year old woman pretending to be ten years younger.  Come on, someone card this "girl" already!  I can't be convinced otherwise.  

Finally, I'm pretty sure wearing my 18 year old Jim Morrison t-shirt healed me from the weird illness.  I've had it since high school and its gotten me through a long bout with mono, surgery on my legs, countless sinus infections and now this bizarre bout.  Thanks, Lizard King, you da best!