Someone is headed to slaughter today. That someone is obscenely huge cabbage. I've invested in a bigger grater (how much money is this damn thing costing me already?!) and will be shredding mass quantities of cabbage in just a few short hours. That's right, we're finally going to shred him up and make some equally huge runza pastry pie out of him. I hope he's enjoying his last remaining minutes in the fridge because soon enough all will go black in his world. (Yes, I am referring to the cabbage as a "he" and if you saw him in real life you'd understand completely. I mean look at how his size compares to the damn toaster oven in the background above! He's a beast!)
Why do you keep going on and on about this cabbage?! A cabbage is not new, you know! Enough already!!!
Enough already indeed! Do you know how much I have thought about the cabbage? Last night I had intermittent dreams about the cabbage!!! (I also dreamt Conan O'Brien was requesting a meeting with me but that's not nearly as exciting as this cabbage for you readers I bet.) Yes, I had dreams about shredding the cabbage. First the cabbage was totally huge and overwhelming (like in real life). Then I cut him in half and he became just a few pieces of usable cabbage (hopefully not like it will be in real life). Don't worry, there should only be one more post regarding the cabbage to update you all on how he tasted. Although since he is so big perhaps we'll have to make another meal out of the remaining leaves in which case be prepared for at least two more posts on...(wait for it)...the cabbage.
No comments:
Post a Comment