No Pressure

My mother's is not the only request I have fielded to have Baby J before the end of this week.  My father has also now put in a bid so that he can win the "Bassinet Derby" amongst his friends.  

These two are already quite the colorful grandparents, don't you think?  

Womb Mates

Still pregnant.  Makes sense as the baby's estimated date is February 8.  I, of course, cling to the notion he will be coming sooner.  (One must cling to whatever one can while in this state.)

My mother informed me last night that she too is clinging to the idea Baby J will arrive this week.  Anytime this week is good for her, she says.  Work is going to be ever so crazy the remainder of the year so if he can get a move on and come this week it would tie into her schedule really well.  She is hilarious and let's see if he was listening.  

Until that time, my crazy cat, Creepy, is going to continue bonding with Baby in her own way...she drapes herself across my belly as I lay on my side and purrs on top of him.  In return, Baby J kicks the crap out of her.  And, surprisingly, she doesn't seem bothered by it.  They're communicating in their own way and I can't help but think this is adorable.  We'll see how much Creepy enjoys him when he's no longer in utero though and crawling after her with mischief in mind!  

I Am A Retention Pond With All This Swelling

Whoever said the 9th month of pregnancy is easy was sorely mistaken.  Oh wait, nobody has ever said that.  In fact, they've only declared the opposite.  I've already told Mr. Jarcy that in the event I decide I want more children, he is to refuse and buy me a pony instead.  I'm not sure I can hold him to this but we'll see.  

I feel kind of guilty saying the above as I can't wait to meet my little dude.  I feel very lucky to be so close to mommyhood but, good lord, it has been a bumpy road.  It doesn't help that it's been one of the coldest/snowiest/iciest winters on record.  Our heat won't rise above 64...grrrr.

Alright, me and my support hose are going to bed.

Getting A Little Desperate

So we're still humming along here in super duper huge pregnancy mode.  Last night I went to a family dinner at Blackbird which is a very nice restaurant here in Chicago.  We were all concerned the sitting might be too uncomfortable for my sausage leg and camper-sized belly but I still went.  And we were right, it was too much and I was extremely uncomfortable.  I'm still glad I went though.  At least I was until I met a staff member there who is due Feb. 27 and barely looked like one with child.  AHHH!  She had no sausage legs whatsoever.  In fact, her feet were in fun heeled boots.  And her belly showed little signs of her third trimester status--she just looked like Blackbird fed her a big meal for lunch.  Oh well, we can't all make pregnancy look this extreme, now can we?   

Then I came home and took some Sudafed for my never-ending preggo congestion.  And guess what?  I had an allergic reaction to it.  I sat up until 4am and itched all over.  And since I didn't realize the Sudafed and itching were related, I took another one at 7am.  Idiot!  Yes, itching commenced once again only this time I was wise enough to put two and two together.  We can now cross Sudafed off the list of congestion busters.  As a result, I've slept very little (and getting quite good at it).  The only thing that works is Afrin nasal spray but you can't take it for more than 3 days.  Now I feel like I'm in rehab for my dependency on it and think about it all the time.  Ah, sweet little Afrin bottle!  Maybe just one little spritz in the nostril won't hurt!  I won't tell Mr. Jarcy if you won't, it can be our secret...  

The Director Needs To Yell, "That's A Wrap."

I've lost something extremely valuable:  I've lost the pregnancy glow.    

It doesn't matter who you are, all preggies are cute--no, adorable!--early on.  I just saw a picture online of a friend who is newly pregnant and, boy oh boy, does she look wonderful.  First of all, her clothes fit.  Secondly, they are truly her clothes and not her husband's oversize shirts, pants and socks.  And lastly, she's got this yum yum little bump in the front unlike me who's sporting a belly the size of a Winnebago camper.  Oh and lastly lastly--but perhaps most importantly--she looks rested.  No wait, lastly lastly lastly--and also importantly--she is out enjoying interaction with others because her body girth/pain doesn't inhibit her ability to navigate the world!    

What a hooker.  I'm missing those days terribly!  

My only consolation is that I'm on the tail end of this affliction (er, I mean condition) and soon will be wrapping this journey up.  That's what folks keep telling me anyway.  For all I know I could be stuck in some Hitchcock movie where one NEVER gives birth, only expands as the child matures within the womb.  14 years from now I'll really be the size of that Winnebago and toting my teenager to pre-calculus (which would suck because math is not my forte).  

Reading over the above, it's clear I'm a little delirious from sleep deprivation.     

Sausage Leg Part 2

I went to the Dr's office.  They're concerned because what once was my right leg now resembles an elephant's limb.  Or a big sausage like I mentioned earlier...a kielbasa maybe.  So I have to go back tomorrow and get an ultrasound done on said elephant limb to make sure there's not a blood clot.  There's a good chance it's not as I have swelling all over.  

So yeah, definitely no more pictures of Mrs. Jarcy until after a baby is born.  Yes, vanity has to kick in on some level here.  I'm dealing with all this stuff, the least I can do is be a little vain...or insecure!  Luckily I just laughed my ass off about all this stuff and I have to just keep that up as best I can.  Laugh with me, please!  

Sausage Leg

My foot/ankle/calf have all converged on one another's territory and now I have to head to the Dr. to get it checked out.  The fantasy from Friday's post continues... :-)

37

January 18th!  January 18th!  January 18th!  

This is a big day.  No, there is no baby knocking on my cervix door yet but it is a momentous occasion nonetheless.  Today officially begins week 37 of pregnancy.  

37 weeks!  Woah.  

A baby is considered full term when he is born anywhere between weeks 37 and 42.  It's like we've been cleared for landing.  (I really seem to like airplane references lately, very odd.)  Whatever, I really hope we can "land" soon.  My nose is still congested from pregnancy and I have one foot that is beyond swollen.  It's really not pretty.  We're not even going to discuss my double chin here...

 

Delivery Delusions

Hellllloooo!  

Years ago when I had braces, I fantasized that every time I went to my scheduled appointments, Dr. Kay would declare, "Well, good news!  Your teeth are now perfect and I think we'll just take off these unattractive and cumbersome braces today!!!"  

This never happened.  

Of course on some level I knew I would be prepped for such an important date and yet it never prevented me from holding onto the dream.  

Well today I had the first of my weekly obstetrician appointments-- we'll be having them until Fetus Jarcy decides to become Baby Jarcy-- and the fantasies returned only replacing braces removal with baby removal.  "Good news, Mrs. Jarcy," the Dr. would say to me, "It appears you are 5 centimeters dilated and I think instead of going home we should admit you to get that unattractive and cumbersome belly turned into an adorable baby.  Go help yourself to some lunch and we'll have the best room in Labor and Delivery prepped for you ASAP."  

This never happened.   

I guess as much you age, old delusions are hard to break.  I'm already gearing up for a variation of the above to take place next Friday as well.  

  

The High Seas

A few months back, my in-laws treated us to a glider.  What is a glider?  Well let me tell you!  A glider is like a rocking chair only it glides forward and back as opposed to forward down and upward back.  Make sense?  Hope so.  Apparently this is a standard piece of nursery furniture--as essential as a crib (or so I've been told by many mommies).  There is also a rocking footrest.  It will be handy when Baby Jarcy is screaming and needs to be soothed or screaming and needs to be fed (again what I've been told by many mommies). 

Well Baby hasn't arrived yet but I have already begun his rocking...er gliding.  It's the only piece of furniture that doesn't get uncomfortable for my large everything and I was hoping it would soothe my extremely active fetus.  At 6am when I am awake from said active fetus, I go sit in the chair, glide along and then go back to bed for a few hours.  

And now the downside of the essential gliding chair...  I get motion sickness from it.  

Apparently I glided a little too long the other day because once I laid my head down to go back to sleep I could not shake the feeling that I was still gliding.  And then I remembered the reason why I don't especially like roller coasters.  Oh yeah, and that I'm prone to sea sickness (although I like that much better than roller coasters).  

I Snore. Ew.

I am a zombie cat.  Does that make sense?  Well that's what I feel like.  I don't sleep at night because I have "pregnancy congestion"--not a cold, just stuffed up from being stuffed with baby-- and my hips hurt and I now seem to be snoring and waking myself up.  As a result, I sleep more during the day like my cats only I'm also a zombie.  

It's amazing how the body prepares one to be awake before you have the baby.  You know you'll be awake for that, you just don't expect to be so sleep deprived BEFORE the baby arrives.  At least I didn't know that (but there's a lot I've been clueless about).  So it won't be a shock to my system when I'm up with the baby in the middle of the night, but I really hope I don't lose my mind before then.    

I gotta pack a bag in case I go into labor now.  Toodles.

9

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Month 9

Hi, Month 9!  

That's right, we're at month 9 now.  I can't believe it.  And I can believe it.  My mother-in-law asked me where I liked to buy clothes before I got pregnant and I had no memory of such a time. There was a time when I wasn't knocked up?  When was that?  It feels like forever but I've been told when it's all said and done it will feel like a short stint.  Somehow I don't believe that will be my experience.  Not that I've hated every minute of it--there's been some great times--but I'll be ready to move on to the next phase of my body.  Let's face it, we know it won't be going "back" to where it was!  

Welcome, Month 9, we're happy to see you.  

Hair

Wow, thanks to pregnancy my hair looks great today.  By great I mean fabulous!  Unfortunately, nobody is around to see it.  Just take my word for it, I'm not headed out into the snow anytime soon.  Just imagine a Pantene commercial and that's me.  My body may resemble Humpty Dumpty, but my head looks like Eva Longoria after an appointment with Ken Paves.  And I'll have to enjoy it for now as the pregnancy books warn this amazing head of hair will leave shortly after the baby's birth.  It's too bad bangin' hair can't be like a parting gift after all I've been through.  I guess the baby is supposed to be that but a baby AND lovely locks sound pretty darn nice too!  

Tuesday, January 6

I've done a lot of online shopping today.  Nothing exciting, just essentials I've been stressing over not having.  Things like burp cloths, a nightlight and an infant first aid kit.  One needs these things from the get go, don't you think?  I'm trying to be a minimalist.    

There is no picture of me today.  Mr. Jarcy has been working all day and I haven't seen another living soul.  The cats can't operate a camera either.  Either way, just imagine Humpty Dumpty and that's who I look like.  I'm not intending to talk bad of myself, I just happen to resemble him!  It's okay, I'm not all that bent out of shape over it.  (Well, technically I AM bent out of shape but you know what I mean.) 

I washed all the baby clothes today.  And I watched a "Six Feet Under" marathon.  What can I say--life is not the most action-packed when you're just waiting to go into labor.  Thank god for blogging and Facebook!  

Finishing Touches

I'm off to buy a nursing bra.  Not sure how I'm going to get to the fancy mommy boutique just yet though.  It's not far so technically I think I can drive.  Or maybe I should just find a cab?  Hmmm, we'll see.  Either way, it feels weird yet a relief to be buying such an item.  All the new items seem weird though, as if I'm supposed to dress my cats up in all these adorable little jammies and caps.      

Baby Jarcy is moving around in my belly like you'd imagine a full-fledged baby would feel if you swallowed one.  He really packs a punch these days.  I think he's really close to being fully "cooked."    

My sister was in town this weekend and she helped me buy some little baby clothes and decorate his room with wall stickers.  She gave Mr. Jarcy a break from being my chaperon which I'm sure he appreciated.  And his room looks way better than I imagined I could come up.  I'm impressed with my improvised decorating.  Maybe I can do this mommy thing after all!  

Please let me do a good job with this mommy thing after all...

P.S.  My maternity coat no longer fits--I'm busting out of it.  Eek!  (Pictures to come soon.)

Childbirth Prep 101

Mr. Jarcy and I completed our first class in childbirth on Tuesday night and are feeling much better about the impending experience as a result.  Well, I'm thinking he feels better than me--I've been alternating between a mild level of terror to extreme overconfidence.  (Working on leveling that off with some meditation moments after I type this up.)  

During the class, I did something I swore I would not do--I watched birthing videos.  I declared early on that I did not want to view any because 1) I am queasy when it comes to blood/guts, and 2) I did not want someone else's birth to affect my own.  No videos for me, thank you very much.

But then it became clear that our childbirth educator was not going to allow me a free pass and we watched some.  Surprisingly, I felt relieved afterwards (although I did have my hands covering my eyes for some parts).  They were miraculous, beautiful and somewhat hilarious.  One video in particular had a series of women in various stages of labor and it focused on how they got through it.  Every one of them had a pattern or rhythm they seemed to create just for the occasion.  One woman kept doing light squats while getting hosed down in the shower.  Another kept stating, "It hurts, it hurts."  One lady laid on her side and made a yodeling sound.  Regardless of the activity, they all did it rhythmically and as labor progressed so did their commitment to the activity.  It was comforting.  

The wild card in one video was this exotically beautiful woman who was very quiet, naked and draped in a bed sheet. She seemed to be in a state of Zen while her spouse stared longingly into her eyes.  I think they were going to start having sex until they realized she needed to deliver a baby first.  My god, we should all be so lucky to have her birthing experience.  It seemed just as good as what got her there in the first place!    

 

New Year's resolutions...

1. Figure out what consists of a baby's layette.  Perhaps, more importantly, determine what IS a layette and then go from there. 
   
2. Purchase no less than 1,067 other baby necessities.  
   
3. Birth a baby. 

Ha, piece of cake...