Yikes!!!

Things that terrify Mrs. Jarcy these days located in Wrigleyville (in no particular order):

• The drunks that take over Clark and Addison (the center of Wrigleyville). It begins around 8pm Friday and this weekend won't let up until 8am Monday. It is disgusting which is a lot coming from me since a) the desire to drink excessively is part of my DNA code and b) I graduated from Illinois State University with a degree in drinking.
• A huge Virgin Mary statue chained to someone's porch and residing in their front yard. No religious idol/symbol/deity should be chained. Period.
• Skinny jeans everywhere I turn. This fad must die and soon.
• The dude who insists on frequenting the theater I work at wearing a bathrobe and towel over his clothes. The towel is draped over a humongous backpack filled with god only knows what.
• Strollers. There are so many and none smaller than a semi.

Someone send help ASAP! We are all in serious trouble if the above breaches in humanity continue.