Bug Assistant

I remembered recently another job I've done. In one of my earlier posts I shared about a list of about 40 others I've worked and they range from beer tent attendant to fish breader. And now I've remembered perhaps the craziest of them all...

Bug exterminator's assistant.

Or was the title First Assistant to Exterminator? Well the title was whatever my dad's friend, Bugs, decided. Bugs was a bug exterminator. Likely nickname for him then, huh? I don't even remember what his real name was. For all I know his name was legally Bugs. He was a regular at my dad's tavern while I was growing up and during the summertime he paid me to help him do some pest prevention by spraying deadly chemicals all over the outside of nursing homes and a country hospital. I was probably the worst assistant a big man could have for this job. I am 5'2.5" tall and weighed about 110 lbs, 16 years old. Just the spitting image one congers up when visualizing a bug killer, huh?

There was a huge vat of killing juice--for lack of a better term--stored in the back of the truck and attached to it was a long hose. My job was to drive the truck at 2 mph along side the building while Bugs sprayed the killing juice all over the outside walls. That was my strong suit which meant I never crashed into anything. Bugs routinely would take over when I seemed to get the truck too close or something. I remember spending more time watching than completing this task.

My other duty was to navigate the hose while the truck was parked. Bugs would pull the hose around the building and I was to make sure it didn't get snagged on anything, else it would burst open spewing chemical death everywhere. This too happened often. One time it snapped open and pooled in the corner of a nursing home's sidewalk. I stood there desperately flagging down Bugs who was yards and yards away. He grabbed the top of his pants and raced towards me to turn off the machine. His beer belly was flopping all over, he seemed to be equipped with his very own vat! As we drove away once we'd completed the job I looked out and saw an elderly woman pushing another elderly person's wheelchair right through the pool of chemical. Oh dear god, I thought, at least they're already 100 years old.

After my "assisting" duties were over, Bugs would drop me off at home to clean up. He too would go home and shower. Then we'd go out for an early dinner. It sounds like a date but it was strictly platonic. Bugs just loved to eat I think. And he didn't have kids so maybe I was really playing the role of his teenage daughter on those days, who knows. Then he'd drop me off at home again and pay me $40.

Most. ridiculous. job. ever.

Now I get paid to play with puppy dogs all afternoon.

http://mrsjarcy.blogspot.com/2007/03/help-me-help-you.html