Just Write The Damn Book, Woman

BOY:  Mommy says she's going off to write her book.

CAT:  Good.

BOY:  Well is "writing a book" code for shopping?  Most times she comes home an hour later with shopping bags from Target or Trader Joe's.  

CAT:  It's called avoidance, Boy.  Spending precious time running errands makes more sense to her logical brain then spending countless hours writing a book.

BOY:   But she's always wanted to write a book!  Why would she avoid doing what she truly desires?!  

CAT:  Yeah, I know.  She's weird.   

Zip It City Is Lovely This Time Of Year

"I feel free!"

I haven't been blogging as much lately.  It bums me out a bit.  I like when I was writing something to post daily.  It may be the path I'm on right now.  That path is towards Zip It City.

What is it about being a mom that gives me the uncontrollable urge to constantly talk?  It's maddening!

Have I always been like this?  (Don't answer that, I'm afraid to know the truth.)  Listen, I have never been one to deny myself the opportunity to talk.  My phone bills act as proof.  But since becoming a mother it seems I rarely allow a breath or two to escape my yapping mouth when conversing with friends.  I just don't stop!

So I've been talking less and listening more.

The behavior has come in handy while dealing with a state case worker in the attempt to secure The Boy speech therapy.  (The Boy talks constantly as well but in a language all his own.)  The case worker has made this process more complicated than securing a new liver, that much I know for sure.  It has been chaos creating.  So instead of yapping like a crazy lady I have shut the heck up and let her just go on and on.  It has given me a sense of calm.  Let her be the crazy one, I could use the break.  This whole path was the doctor's orders anyway, not mine.  If I have to continue then I have to cope by NOT talking so much.

So yeah, that's my new thing--talk less, listen more.

I learned a lot more in my parenting class (Toddler School) on Tuesday as a result.  Of course, the teacher was practically yelling over the group of mothers.  We all need a trip to Zip It City in that class.  At times I wanted to talk but then thought, "You know, these other gals have that covered."  I simply sat, listened and sipped my coffee.  Give some other stressed out mommy the floor to vent because I'm vented out.  Besides, the only way it seems I'm going to finish this book is if I start composing chapters in my head any chance I can get.  

Role Reversal

BOY:  Mommy's writing class takes up a lot of her time.

CAT:  She has been busy.  How does this make you feel?

BOY:  Okay I guess.  Daddy has been home with me instead.

CAT:  He has been home with you.  How does this make you feel?

BOY:  It's cool I guess.  He's a super fun daddy.

CAT:  He is a super fun daddy.  How does this make you feel?

Summoning Tim Gunn

"Mommy, what are you doing?
You're not supposed to be blogging, you have a one-page summary to write.
Use your time wisely!"

I'm in a little over my head here.  Okay, I mean a lot.  A LOT.

Tomorrow night for class I need to submit a one page summary of the book I will be writing over the course of the next few weeks.  I also need to spend the day at my new job before that as well as read over and critique 10-page submissions that two other students have completed.  So reading and writing before I go to bed tonight and then gone all day tomorrow...uh huh.  Well I guess that just makes me think of the following--WHAT AM I GOING TO WRITE ABOUT IN THIS CLASS????!

I don't know what to write.  I have about 500 different story ideas racing around in my head like bumper cars.  There is no winner, just a lot of bumping.  I start with an idea, get the motor running, pick up speed and then WHAMMO another stupid bumper car (I mean idea) T-bones me and I'm left wondering what direction I'm facing.

Is this analogy making any sense?  Can you feel the panic that is being unleashed from within?  AHHHHHH!

Tim Gunn would say, "Make it work, Mrs. Jarcy.  This is 'make it work' time."  He's right.  Tim Gunn is always right.  I wish I had one of his books right now because I would read that and gain insight and...woah, no time for a Tim Gunn Tangent here, Woman!  Make it work, make it work...

Now should I type on my computer or write in a notebook?  Make it work, make it work...

Tuesday Recap

Tuesday three things happened... (1) I interviewed to work at a casting agency, (2) Mr. Jarcy took The Boy to Toddler School in my absence, and (3) I started my commercial female fiction (chick lit) class at UCLA.  Now here's how that all played out...

I learned that I will be working at the casting agency one day a week.  I am happy, excited, terrified, sad to leave my boy.  I know it's just one day (just one day, woman!) but I am so used to being home.  It will be weird.  And probably very good for me.

I learned that getting to Santa Monica from my home in the Valley will be long and treacherous.  It is 16 miles one way and at least 40 minutes will be spent driving down Ventura Blvd for less than 2 miles to pick up the freeway getting me to Santa Monica. Thank goodness I have spent my entire life battling Chicago traffic.  This is not new, I must remind myself.

I learned that my butt is presently too big to squeeze into most of my pants.  Enough said on this.

I learned that The Husband loved taking The Boy to Toddler School.  This makes me happy/sad.  I love taking him there as well but won't be able to as routinely as before.  Boo to the Hoo.

I learned that The Husband is perhaps the most supportive and loving creature there is on planet earth.  Possibly the entire universe.  I knew this already but this week has sealed the deal.

I learned that UCLA's campus is beautiful.  Starting a class there in the fall only enhances it's beauty.  It is also vast and overwhelming.

I learned that I have no idea what story I am going to write for this class.  I am supposed to be writing a book!  I am currently at a loss over the minor detail regarding what it should be about.  No pressure.

I learned that I describe myself to strangers in a class as if I am doing a stand-up routine.  (Why am I not just taking a class on preparing a stand-up routine?!)  We had to partner up with a classmate, interview one another and then present our findings to the group.  Let's just say my partner didn't present any of my comedic bits in the proper order.  She made me sound very odd and not in a good way.  "This is Mrs. Jarcy, she lives here now after living elsewhere, her parents are tolerant, she's weathered and dated a lot.  She likes her husband because he buys her jewelry."  What?  That's sort of what I said but not really! Stand-up is definitely not her thing.  She also failed to mention The Boy while describing me which continues to haunt me.  Now the class thinks I'm a reformed hooker who's tolerated by her parents and is more concerned about jewels than her own son.  That wasn't the first impression I was going for.

Did I already tell you about learning more about my sizable butt?  I think I did so enough said...

Where's Mrs. Jarcy?

Photo of Boy, Mr. Jarcy and An Unidentified Weathered-Looking Woman

I came across this photo of The Boy and Mr. Jarcy on my computer.  Aren't they lovely?  God, I love them so hard.  However, I don't know who this woman is.  She doesn't look familiar...  I wonder why Mr. Jarcy has his hand on her backside? Hmm, it's all a mystery to me.

Mrs. Jarcy, that woman is you!

(Blink blink pause)

Say that again, please?

(Eye roll eye roll sigh)

Honey, the woman above is YOU.  I don't think you've looked in the mirror lately because that is what you presently look like.  

ME?  The woman above with her "perpetually 5 months pregnant" belly, ill-fitted t-shirt and hunched over shoulders is ME?  Since when?!  Why didn't anyone tell me this???

(Blink blink pause)

I know, it's tough.  But honestly if you just pulled your shoulders UP and BACK you would LOOK and FEEL so much better.  

Shoulders UP and BACK...you know, that reminds me I am certified as a yoga instructor.  I could work on that no problem!  And I still have Pilates classes to use at two different studios.  Well that would tackle the belly AND hunched over shoulders.  Huh.  And come to think of it, I do own tops that are not t-shirts... Wow, maybe I do have some control over this situation after all!

(Eye roll eye roll sigh)  

I Can Do This, I Can Do This...

Oh boy, I have been a terrible blogger as of late.

Yes, I've noticed!  What's happening over there?

Well, I've been ill.  It's hard enough getting me to do anything when I'm healthy so being ill really slows me to slug speed.

What else?

Well, I've been interviewing.  I might go work in a casting office one day a week.  Dipping my toes in this out-of-the-home work thing again.  It's been awhile since I've interacted/worked with others without it involving my son.  I'm nervous.

I see.  Anything else?

Well, tonight I'm starting a writing class at UCLA.  I'm very excited about it.  It's on writing commercial female fiction.  I hope to write a full book in the coming months.

It doesn't sound like you've been a slug.  Perhaps you're being a little too hard on yourself, Mrs. Jarcy.

Yes, I see your point.  I've been productive after all!  Yippee!!!  I should take a nap as a reward!

Sigh...

Make Mine A Double

"Hey, Daddy, did you by chance get my Americano?  Mine tastes more like your usual Macchiato." 

"Oh, never mind, this is an Americano.  It looked a little foamy on top so I got confused.  Yum..."

Don't worry, he's not really drinking coffee beverages (this is obvious to me but then again toddlers are on YouTube smoking so just to cover myself I will say that).  Lord knows he doesn't need any help with being alert and awake.  Between his desire to "drink coffee" and "apply lip balm" like Mommy I wonder what habits I'm really teaching him here.  Either way, it's cute watching him play "adult."  

Pick Your Battles

We're gearing up for Halloween here.  I found these gems above to dress up The Boy.    

Are those just t-shirts?  Is that what you plan on dressing up The Boy in for Halloween?

Yep.  One long-sleeved in the event it's cool outside and one short-sleeved if it's warm.  Blue pants or shorts will accompany the shirt and we'll be calling it a costume. (guilt building, guilt building, guilt building)  

But why just t-shirts?!

YOU try wrenching his mighty buns into an adorably cute and fuzzy costume!  Don't you think I'd prefer to put him in an actual costume?  Because I would!   But getting him in pants and shoes is enough of a battle!  We're going t-shirts route at this stage in the game and calling it a costume and praying he doesn't realize it's a costume.  Got it?!  Don't make me feel guilty about this! (anxiety, anxiety, anxiety)  

Okay, okay, take it easy, Mrs. Jarcy, nobody's trying to create more stress.  The t-shirts are a great idea.

Ooh!  You really think so?  I thought they were super cute too! (guilt subsiding, guilt subsiding, guilt subsiding)   

Bok Choy Bullying

I've been ignoring my locally grown produce this week.

Concord grapes.  Bok choy.  Lots of carrots.  Lots of celery... This week I have zero motivation to turn them into edible concoctions.  I know the carrots and celery can just be eaten basically as is, however, that seems boring as well.  There's only so much celery I can ingest.  I gotta push through this lack of desire, I know, but I DON'T WANNA!  That's right, I'm gonna be a toddler about it.  NO!  NO BOK CHOY!  WHERE'S MY PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY SANDWICH ALREADY?  THAT'S WHAT I WANT FOR DINNER FOLLOWED BY A BOWL OF CEREAL!

At a crossroads with the community supported agriculture.  Do I really want to buy from this farming group every other week?  At first I liked  how I don't get a choice in what produce I get and, therefore, was being forced to cook new things.  And now this week I don't want to have to figure out how to prepare foods I never buy.  I mean come on, concord grapes?!  You can't eat those things like other grapes!  They have seeds in them and are tart as hell!  So now I either let them go to waste or grudgingly haul my buns off to Bed Bath and Beyond in search of a cheese cloth and 12 qt pan to make juice.  GRRRR....

Now where's my precious take out menus and bag of candy corn?  I'm giving myself one more day of avoidance...

Pumpkins

We ventured 50 miles northwest of Studio City on Saturday and went to a pumpkin farm.  I think we all enjoyed breaking out of the comforts of home base.  The funniest part of this farm was the "ice cold apple cider."  At first I thought it was because it was warm out and surely as the season cools off the "ice cold" would be replaced by "piping hot."  Then I remembered I now live in Southern California instead of the Midwest.  That cider may never get warmer than chilled.  

Pictures from our outing...

Smile!

The Boy doesn't usually follow commands, however, if you tell him to smile he will do just that.    I don't know how his smile evolved but he always does the same thing--turns and tilts his head, squints his eyes and gives a big, toothy grin.  It's yummy goodness.  

Separation Anxiety

Toddler Therapy

BOY:  I've been having a hard time with separation anxiety lately.

CAT:  Tell me more about this anxiety.  What's going on there?

BOY:  Well it just sneaks up on me when I least expect it.  The park.  The bath.  Bedtime.

CAT:  I see.

BOY:  The first step is admitting I have this problem, right?  

CAT:  Yes, and then accepting your anxiety as a normal stage in toddlerhood.  Good talk today, Boy.  Should we plan for same time next week?  My schedule is pretty open most mornings.