Aging Greasily

This morning I put 3 different lotions on my body-- one self-tanner in an attempt to conceal bruised legs (The Boy is rough on me I guess), one in an attempt to eradicate stretch marks (The Boy was rough on me during pregnancy) and one with sunscreen (this California sun wants to be rough on me).  Three different lotions slathered on three different regions of my body.  Let's not even go into my face regimen.  I am officially old...