The Boy at 6 months of age-- "You're moving me to California?! You know they have earthquakes there, right? Prepare for that you two, I can't do everything here."
We've been getting into our apartment building's pool more lately. It's not heated but now that it is 99 degrees outside the coldish water is refreshing as opposed to revolting. Usually it's just me and The Boy but some Dudes (yeah, these guys were dudes) who also live in the building came down to join in the fun. I brought the cranky toddler teetering on "terrible twos" and they brought a cooler of beer (see, I told you they were dudes). It's a small pool and would have been more awkward had we all ignored one another so we chatted it up. I was more than happy to talk with adults as they tend to hold conversation better than The Boy with his made-up language. We started off down the "How long have you lived here?" route and ended up on earthquakes. Since moving here The Jarcy's have experienced at least three earthquakes and that's just the ones we've felt. There have been more all around the area. It's freaky.
"I was in the big one of '89, you know," Dude 1 stated. "Oh wow, yeah that was bad," I replied. I had no idea what earthquake he was talking about but felt like it might be like admitting I hadn't heard of Hurricane Katrina if I fessed up. "So, what was that like?" I asked.
"Well, I was up in north in San Francisco and it was intense," he said. Aha! We have a location, good good. "The house just swayed back and forth, back and forth. And the street was rolling like waves. Really crazy stuff. It was one of those rolling earthquakes, not the usual shaky kind." Shit, I thought, there's more than one kind of earthquake?! I'm really screwed! "So after that," he continued, "I realized you can never be too prepared. That's most important, you gotta be prepared."
Uh huh. Prepared. Well to me that meant the following:
- I should be showered and wearing make-up at all times. Jewelry couldn't hurt as well. Before bed I should wash my face but then re-apply essentials like concealer and mascara.
- I should be wearing coordinating pajama tops and bottoms to bed. I don't really like wearing pants but god forbid "the big one" hits again and I'm in my undies and stretched out Axe Body Spray tank top. I bet recovery crew workers would have a field day with that discovery.
- Speaking of bed, I should be sleeping on a futon in The Boy's room. I'm so far away across the living room from him! What if "the big one" hits in the middle of the night?! How would I get to him 15 yards away!?
- I should turn my cell phone into a necklace. Now, what else is essential during a disaster that I could turn into a necklace? Or a bracelet even? Maybe a fanny pack could contain all these essentials instead?! A fanny pack is big enough to hold money, aspirin and some granola bars as well! Okay, it's settled, I'm gonna have to go out and get a fanny pack. And granola bars. And long-lasting concealer.
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