My Pilot Fish

Alright, alright--if you must know OF COURSE I consulted a psychic on the Saturday Night Spook Out.  Because that's the kind of person I am.  Freak out, consult a total stranger and then MAYBE think more rationally about the situation later.  By later I mean NEVER.

Lucky for me I live in L.A. where there are more psychics per capita than anywhere else on the planet.  These creative types running around the streets of Hollywood need guidance, encouragement and, most importantly, something to do with all their free time.  Just as sharks rely on pilot fish to keep them clean of parasites, actors rely on psychics to guide them to the next pilot.  So when you see freaky orbs floating about your son's crib you head to your friendly, neighborhood psychic bookstore.  (Or to your friendly, neighborhood medical marijuana clinic but that's not the kind of person I am and most are getting shut down anyway.)

Two hours after calling to schedule an appointment I met with Psychic Lady (there are no less than 15 psychics working all day, every single day at this one place).  I told her the whole story.  I sounded something like this--  Could it be a deceased grandmother watching over The Boy?  My one grandma kept calling him Sammy before she died, maybe she's trying to contact him because she's just now understanding he is indeed not Sammy.  You know, his room often times smells like cigarette smoke and while I thought it was just the chain smoker who lives next door now I'm wondering if it's the spirit of some jaded old stand-up comedian who hung himself in our apartment after a particularly tough crowd at The Improv one night.  Maybe he's lurking about and not crossing over.  These things happen right?  I'm familiar with "The Ghost Whisperer", I've endured my fair share of Friday nights with nothing to do but tolerate Jennifer Love Hewitt for an hour.  Are those orbs gonna come back and swirl around his head?  I hope not, I didn't like it.    


Since I gave you the long, somewhat exaggerated version of my questioning I'll give you the short, concise version of Psychic Lady's answer.  She said, "He's fine.  No spirit is harming him.  The orbs could be anything.  Maybe dust?  Maybe a friendly guide.  He's got guides.  They help him stay calm." (Insert long pause here.)  "So, is there anything else you wanna talk about now?  We have 50 minutes left."