One Task Down, Arms And Dress On Deck

"My mommy only has pictures of me in my crib from Monday morning to share this week.  She's been busy doing other things like reading books and removing moles.  I love books!  Moles not so much."  

An entire herd of moles and skin tags took up residence on my left armpit.  I started out with one and then WHAMMO there were many.  The worst part, however, was how unbothered I seemed by them for so damn long.  I knew they were there but other things seemed more pressing than having them removed.  Things like naps, endless viewings of House Hunters International, more naps.  Then Tuesday rolled around and all I could think was, OH MY GOD I have to get this cluster of mutated skin cells off of my body before I lose my mind!!!  So I called a dermatologist, made an appointment for the following morning (that's right, the next day!) and prepared for a painful, mole liberating outing.

Now I have never been to a skin doctor.  Have you?  I'm not gonna lie, my skin is pretty nice.  I can say this because there are PLENTY of other issues my body can claim as being problematic.  Super poor vision?  Yep.  Defective heart valve?  Oh yeah, got that one too.  Bad skin?  No chance in hell!

So when I arrived at the dermatology office I was SHOCKED by how many signs were posted about cosmetic procedures they offer.

• Need lovelier lashes?  Brooke Shields did too so she got Latisse! Be like Brookey and get lashes as big as your eyebrows!
• Courtney Cox-Arquette uses Kinerase skin care line.  Courtney looks way beautiful!  Buy the Kinerase summer kit for only $250 when its usually $400!    
• Let us know if you need botox, restalyne and face creams!  Did you know we do facials for $60?  We do facials for only $60!  Get on that!  Oh yeah, we also treat skin cancer.

I was kind of annoyed by the promotions but I was also fearful I'd get talked into getting them.  All I needed was this nurse practitioner to mention my dark under-eye circles and I would have told her to do whatever she needed to make them go away.  Need $2000 for 3 sessions of dark circle eradicating?  Here's my credit card, let me just line up child care!  I'm easily talked into this stuff.

Alas, the lady was very nice.  She said I had great skin, to keep up the good work with applying sunscreen and to return if any moles seemed to change.  No mention of cosmetic offerings crossed her lips.  Then she picked up what appeared to be two sets of pliers and had her way with my moles.  And now that I know a board certified doctor will give me a facial for 60 bones, I may have to alter my Christmas wish list.