Since returning home from Mexico, there have been more sunny days than in the last month and a half. I know this to be true because I have rescheduled a photo shoot for new headshots 4 TIMES due to consistent cloudiness.
The "it photographer" suggested by everyone in town only uses natural light. Que lastima! I knew this only after forking over a sizable deposit and becoming utterly seduced by her work (she has earned her "it" status). But we are, unfortunately, in Chicago and the sun skips town along with our local elders for the winter.
After 4 attempts at sun (and having to get up at the ungodly hours of 5 and 6am for these shoots), I got to attempt 5. I thought 5 was my lucky number! I was wrong. Instead I developed a broken blood vessel in my left eye which doesn't really go hand-in-hand with expensive, up close, color headshots. Well, maybe if I were doing a commercial for blood vessels breaking in one's eye...nope, not even then.
Eye condition aside, here's another irritation: The day I had to cancel--as opposed to being cancelled on--the sun shined all day long. All day. The following day it did the same. All day. Today the sun shone so brightly I thought I had left my Seasonal Affective Disorder light box turned on by mistake. Nope, it was just really sunny.
Everyone I have relayed this story to has said, "You know, it just hasn't been the right time for those headshots. It's just not meant to be yet." I had actually thought this as well. But that thought was fleeting.
Why in the hell would it not be the right time to get headshots taken? The idea that it "just isn't meant to be right now" is a phrase we use for breakups brimming with potential or job promotions in which we've been skipped over. This is not either of those situations! This is about getting some color photos taken of myself so that I can be more marketable as an actor. It's not as if NOT having new headshots will help me get noticed. On the contrary, I have gone unnoticed for far too long here! I've even told myself this delay simply gives me more time to get in better shape for when the shoot finally happens. And that's horse shit. Sure, I'd love to lose weight but I could weigh 79 lbs and still think that (before you judge me, I am a woman and ALL women have this thought at least once on the hour).
If I were to truly believe a higher power likes rearranging my headshots for a time that IS meant to be, I may have much bigger problems then an agitated sleep schedule and anxiously awaiting agent. And yet, I'm still secretly hoping something utterly wonderful happens in January for date #6 that could not possibly have taken place a moment sooner.
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