Thursday, April 19, 2007

I've Been Replaced

Creepy the Cat is still being medicated--she takes 1/4 of a Prozac tablet daily. She is still miraculously calm and content. It's like this poor animal has been needing something to take the edge off her entire life. I've gotten to sleep through the night for an entire week now. She doesn't make god awful howling sounds throughout the day for no apparent reason. She is not in dire need of my lap the moment I sit down. She's not begging for food all hours of the day. She hasn't really sat on me much at all now. Mr. Jarcy is more than satisfied with this medication intervention.

I, on the other hand, am struggling.

I'm now faced with my own co-dependency issues and it hasn't been pretty. I wanted her to be more self-sufficient for sure but now she doesn't seem to need me at all! I spent hours watching a "Law and Order: Criminal Intent" marathon the other day and usually that is a WE activity--meaning me and Creepy--as opposed to a ME ONLY activity. Take away the purring lap cat component and the activity makes me a lazy dud. Before I could pass it off as "bonding with my cat" time. Nope, not now. Now I'm the loser with no plans. I used to be able to summon her from any point in the house and she could not run to my beckon call fast enough. Now? Well now she just ignores the call. I must admit I'm a little heart broken! She used to be so talky...okay, she meowed A LOT. She still meows only the frequency has gone down drastically. I feel like a mother who's kids have left for college.

Mr. Jarcy says he knew this would happen. He's spent enough time observing our dysfunctional relationship to know I would experience feelings of abandonment and loss. If I'm like this with a cat I shudder to think how I'll behave with children.

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