Tuesday, April 3, 2007

Please Pass The Shrimp/Valium Cocktail

I'm craving shrimp cocktail lately. CRAVING! And I'm not sure why. I haven't eaten shrimp since "The Shrimp Pad Thai Incident" back in the summer of 1998. That was my initiation into the horrific world of food poisoning and I've never forgotten. I looked like a leper and I'm not joking. Every blood vessel in my face burst from puking and I looked worse than a character of "Angel." (God I miss that show). Anyway, back to my history with shrimp. I used to LOVE it when I was a kid, then I didn't care about it, then I sort of liked it and tried it and then it made me ridiculously ill in 1998! As a result, I have steered clear of shrimp for nine years. You see, I'm not the type of person who gets knocked off the horse and then just gets back on. Oh no, no...I'm the type who gets knocked off, whimpers about getting knocked off and then flees the scene completely. After a nine year hiatus, I'm still not convinced I should get back near the horse. I mean shrimp. Whatever.

About a month ago I started fantasizing about SHRIMP! Why? Why now?! It's the most bizarre thing and, NO, I am not pregnant. I do know, however, that I am obsessed with plotting out various stores I can hit up for shrimp. So far I've come up with Treasure Island, Whole Foods, Trader Joe's, Jewel, Dominick's and possibly 7-Eleven. Do you think Citco sells shrimp? I could fill my car with gas AND buy shrimp. Or maybe Dunkin' Donuts!? I'd like the shrimp cocktail and an apple fritter to go, please!

On an either directly related or totally separate front, I have been feeling weird and by weird I mean blue. That's right, Mrs. Jarcy gets depressed from time to time. And it's really no fun but that is obvious. People either feel the same way and can be of no help or have never felt that way and can be of no help. I'm over-generalizing and it's one of the symptoms--everything is an extreme. So I plaster a smile on my face in public--fooling no one at all really--and change the subject if at all possible or hibernate in my home until a loved one lures me back outside. It sucks!

Tonight I had to break down and--get this--actually do something to make myself feel better. There's nothing better than a good wallow when you're blue, nothing! But after enough people ask you if you're familiar with THE SECRET you realize, why yes, I am familiar with the secret. And my secret is yoga. I had to drop all other evening plans and make a mad sprint to the yoga temple. That's correct, it is a temple. And it is lovely. It is quiet and peaceful and sorta hokey and I want to live there. For nearly two hours we "restore" in various yoga poses atop a nest of blankets and props. The teacher walks around and tucks everyone in with more blankets. And we breathe deeply as opposed to the "oh shit I think I may go crazy" breathing experienced throughout the day (I say "we" for it can't just be me!). She even sings to us in this lullaby sort of manner. I swear, I feel like I'm back to infancy when the most I worried about was how to fit another nap into my already overbooked day of naps.

Let's recap--I'm soft spotting shrimp, battling bleakness and nesting in a temple. Hmmm...okay....awkward pause...insert smile here...Hey, have any of you heard about THE SECRET?!

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